moving out

Fifty days ago, at 41, I made the difficult decision to leave my family home, walking away from years of emotional and physical abuse. My relationship with my father and sister had become toxic, draining my spirit and eroding my sense of self. Leaving wasn’t easy, but it was the step I needed to take to find peace and heal.

Leaving my mother behind was the hardest part. She and I had always been each other’s support in a home filled with tension. Whenever she called out the unfairness or cruelty, my father and sister would turn the blame on me. They saw me as the source of their misery, and I was left constantly wondering how to earn their love.

For years, I battled guilt and fear, questioning whether I had the strength to seek my own happiness. But as the abuse continued, I realized that my mental and physical health were worth fighting for.

The first few weeks after I left were tough. I felt lost, vulnerable, and unsure of my decision. When my boss, Sadaf, asked me two weeks later how I was feeling, I couldn’t even answer. One night, I stood on the balcony, staring at the half-moon in the empty sky, and asked myself, “How do you feel, Rajib?” The emotions I had held back for so long finally came pouring out. I felt as if a part of me had died, leaving an emptiness I didn’t know how to fill.

But over time, I’ve come to understand that my real home is within myself. To truly thrive, I needed to build a life free from the negativity of my past. This was my chance to rediscover my passions and surround myself with people who lift me up, rather than drag me down.

Now, as I reflect on the journey that brought me here, I feel a mix of emotions. There’s some regret for the time I’ve lost with my loved ones, even though I still see my parents regularly. But there’s also excitement for the future and a growing sense of independence.

If you or someone you know is in a similar situation, please know that you are not alone. Reach out to friends, family, or professionals for support. You deserve happiness, and you deserve a life free from abuse and negativity. Keep moving toward a life filled with love, peace, and joy.

June 8th, 2023